Trump jets in for league game v Ferbane

Post date: Jun 06, 2019 11:48:59 AM

By Niveked..........

US President Donald J Trump arrived in Shannon yesterday for his first official state visit since taking the Oval office but it has since emerged that 'The Donald' is set to attend Edenderry' senior league game on Friday night in Ferbane.

"Donald is playing golf in Doonbeg on Friday morning before getting a chopper up to Ferbane for the senior league match" a member of his not so secret service revealed to our reporter this morning.

Mr Trump has been a lifelong 'Reds' fan and it is widely known that he predominately wears a red tie as a mark of respect for Edenderry GAA. President Trump last visited Edenderry in April 2018 when he made headlines in the Edenderry Topic by announcing plans to build a border wall around Edenderry to help keep the Kildare crowd out.

http://www.edenderrygaa.ie/news/breakingnewspresidenttrumpproposesborderwallwithkildare

President Trump is expected to arrive at Ferbane GAA at 7.55pm on Friday for the 8pm throw in and a special seat has been reserved on the hill bank behind the dugout for the worlds most powerful leader to watch the game.

"I've been looking forward to this game ever since the fixture was made" Mr Trump told our reporter via a Skype meeting. "I'm so glad to see young Keith McGuinness back in action, that guy, I'm telling you, he's like Benjamin Button! Every time I see him he seems to get younger" stated Mr Trump.

We asked President Trump who his favourite players are on the current team and he told us he likes the looks of Mark Young, Daniel Ryan, Ciaran Farrell and Adam Mahon. "I think these guys are the type of guys I'd like to go partying with, especially Mark because if you were stuck for €50 he'd spot you no problem" the billionaire property tycoon declared.

(Former Euro-millions winner Mark Young would spot you €50 for a few pints)

President Trump has reaffirmed his commitment to Club 300 also, a membership model designed to help deliver new facilities and infrastructure to Edenderry GAA. On June 12th 2018, Mr Trump joined the initiative and Edenderry GAA registrar Angela Swords Delaney has confirmed she spoke to Trump regarding payment.

"I spoke to Donald about his membership and he assured me there's a cheque in the post for 2018 and 2019's membership" Mrs Delaney said. Reports appeared in the New York Times late last year that Mr Trump had cancelled his membership due to concerns over club secretary Colm Cummins close friendship and admiration for North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong Un.

http://www.edenderrygaa.ie/news/trumpjongunreaffirmcommitmenttoclubred300

*Retired Detective Garda Cornelius O'Leary is expected to liaise with the US Secret Service regarding travel arrangements for the US President from Doonbeg to Ferbane but refused to confirm reports that the New York born businessman would be staying in the apartments on Fr McWey Street on Friday night amid reports he is set to visit Finbarr Cullen's pub after the game.

"He should have visited Cork" the *retired Detective Garda muttered.

(*denotes no Garda is ever truly retired)

(Nothing gets past Cornelius)