Prince Harry to visit his idol Finbarr Cullen on trip to Edenderry

Post date: Jul 10, 2018 12:1:40 PM

(Legendary Offaly footballer Finbarr Cullen & his biggest fan Prince Harry)

By Niveked...........

Prince Harry & his wife Meghan Markle are set to visit Edenderry this afternoon as part of their two day tour of Ireland.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will visit Edenderry in their first international visit since they tied the knot back in May. It was indeed Prince Harry who made the special request as he was eager to return to the Club 38 where he first met the former Offaly captain and local millionaire.

"Harry & Barrs have been good mates for years. They've been seen out on the lash a number of times over the years and always have a great laugh together" a spokesman for the Royal family told our reporter.

The 1997 Dowling cup winning captain and his stunning wife Geraldine attended the fancy soiree back in May and Finbarr even read a prayer of the Faithful while his wife Geraldine recited 'The Offaly Rover' during the communion reflection to a rousing reception.

(Finbarr had a huge following at Buckingham Palace) (The Kenny women discuss the Royal wedding)

As part of the trip to Edenderry it is expected that the Duke & Duchess of Sussex will visit the newly sponsored Rosderra Gaelic Park and Rosderra Weavers Fields to check on the ongoing development and are expected to scribe their names onto the new Donor Wall. However, head groundsman Pat 'Ago Cullen has warned the happy couple may "Stay off the jasus pitch the feckin thing is burned to s***e" due to the recent heatwave that gripped the nation. The news is said to have disappointed Prince Harry who fancied a puck around on the hallowed turf.

(Award winning groundsman 'Ago Cullen has warned the royals to stay off his jasus pitches)

Club secretary Colm Cummins is said to be thrilled at the news of the Royal visit as he is a well known Royal family fanatic and is said to have tabled a proposal for the AGM this November to have the Chairman position changed and referred to as 'The King'. He will also seek election to 'The Kings' position insiders say.

Former local law enforcer Cornelius O'Leary, who worked in Edenderry Garda station for thirty years under the ridiculous alias of Niall O'Leary until his retirement in 2014, has been drafted in as head of security for the visit of the Royal couple. We tried to contact Cornelius for comment but he was unavailable at the time due to poor reception in the Kildare region his 'Fastway Couriers' van was travelling at the time. However, we did manage to contact his lovely wife Joan who divulged plenty of information.

"Oh Cornelius is thrilled he got the security gig for the Royal visit" Joan informed this reporter. "The day of the Royal wedding was so special. We watched it together at home and Cornelius even shed a tear when they announced them husband and wife. It was so romantic. He even brought me to 'Ping's' afterwards for a bite to eat" Mrs O'Leary stated.

(Cornelius O'Leary (left) wept throughout the Royal Wedding)

Senior football captain Colm Byrne is said to be ecstatic about the visit and has increased the rates at his B & B to over €1250 per night not including breakfast. We asked the skipper if he felt the price hike was justified.

"Damn right it is" the skipper said. "I gotta make bank bro... It's all about the dollars ya know what I mean. Cha Ching" grinned the dimple faced gym bunny.

The happy couple are expected to stay in town on Wednesday where Finbarr and Prince Harry will take in a tour of the local pubs starting in his own bar in O'Connell Square. They are expected to watch the England v Croatia game in 'Byrnes Bar' where local barman John Byrne has described the visit as "some load of s***e". While Barrs and Harry enjoy the World Cup semi final their respective princesses are set to take in a days shopping at the luxurious Edenderry town shopping centre followed by a trip to Mary & Marie Fashions.

(The luxurious Edenderry town centre and Mary & Marie Fashions where Geraldine & Meghan will shop)

Mrs Cullen told our reporter she can't wait to go on a spending spree with Meghan and had earmarked trips to Brown Thomas, Marc Jacobs and Michael Korrs but that Meghan said she would rather shop local and is dying to check out the F & F clothing range from Tesco while she's here.

"I had it all organised to go to Brown Thomas. Mag me sister was bringing us off for the day while the lads are on the beer but Meghan said she'd rather stay in town. We're gonna do the whole town. Dunnes, Tesco, Bargains Galore, Marie & Marie, Diamonds & Pearls, the whole lot" said an enthusiastic Geraldine Cullen who also mentioned that she has a loan of Finbarr's credit card for the day.

While news of the Royal visit is certain to raise the towns ever growing profile there has been some unrest among a small minority who opposed the marriage of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle. Current senior footballers Ciaran Farrell and Jamie Dolan, who are both devout Catholics and altar servers, have stressed that while they have no problem with the Royal family itself, they would prefer to uphold traditions and Harry marrying a divorcee "is not ideal".

(Ciaran 'Gazza' Farrell & Jamie Dolan opposed the Royal Wedding)

Local lothario Stephen J Guing, who plays midfield for the reds, is said to have approached senior team trainer Colin McNamara with the view to skipping training on Tuesday night as he wishes to avoid the newly weds and the controversy that may ensue if they were to bump into each other.

"Stephen felt it was best to get out of town for a bit. The rumours surrounding Meghan's divorce and Stephen's potential involvement in the marriage breakdown are still very much alive and he just wished to avoid any such issues" stated his midfield partner Richie Dalton.

(Trainer Colin Mc has given Stephen permission to get out of town)

Finally, we asked some members of the club if they were looking forward to the visit of the Royal couple but Sean Pender & Cian Farrell simply replied "Sorry mate, not around that night, with the county".

(County stars Sean Pender & Cian Farrell)