'One week in May': Episode 3

Post date: May 23, 2018 12:29:7 PM

Episode 3 - Second Attempt

The Red Massey 135 came to a halt outside the storage hut and Pat ‘Ago’ Cullen dis-mounted and began opening the doors to the grey shed that housed his partner in the never ending struggle against the green creeping enemy that was the lush grass of the Edenderry GAA main pitch. On opening one door he turned to begin opening the second door when suddenly right there in front of him a figure appeared like an apparition. Pat was momentarily startled but instantly recognised the face of the Vice Chairman David Farrell. “F**k me Dave, you frightened the sh**e out of me” Pat laughed nervously, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”. David smiled knowingly, “Well sure aren’t you in the right place if you do keel over” responded the shadowy figure of the Vice Chairman, making reference to the little known fact that the GAA pitch was the designated landing point for any emergency pick up by the local air-ambulance. Pat 'Ago Cullen responded with a slightly nervous laugh.

Elvis pictured beside the medical helicopter after one of his many heart attacks)

“Well Ago, I heard you and Willie had a chat” began David. “Oh yeah, he was here earlier alright” confirmed Ago. David began his sales pitch. “Would you not give it a go? Sure one night in the pavilion playing to a select crowd wouldn’t kill you, it would be just like old times”. David paused for a moment, checking he still had his prey’s attention before resuming. “Jaysus Ago the lads would really love to go to Kiev and this is the only way to raise enough money that quickly”. Elvis ‘Ago’ Presley looked directly at the Vice-Chairman, he liked David, he felt they were kindred spirits, they were both no nonsense type fellas who got things done.

(Elvis 'Ago Presley & Vice Chairman Colonel David Farrell have a fantastic working relationship)

David sensed his chance and went in for the kill. “I could make it worth your while you know” he slyly added. Elvis’s eyes darted towards the plotting Vice-Chairman’s face. “What do mean?” enquired the current Edenderry grounds man who formerly went by the name of Elvis Presley. “Well” began David, “how does a year’s supply of frozen chicken Kiev’s sound?”, Elvis smiled, David always knew the right things to say, he knew that Elvis loved nothing more than a high calorie, high fat daily treat, sure wasn’t that what nearly killed him back in ’77, it wasn’t the prescription drugs like everyone now assumes.

“Sure if we’re going to Kiev there must be loads of Kiev’s in Kiev” laughed David. Elvis was instantly sold, “It’s a deal, but for one night only mind, and I’m going to need a band and an outfit and….”, David raised his hand indicating for the King to shut up, revealing a lit Cuban cigar between his fingers. “Leave everything to me Elvis my boy, like I said, it will be just like old times”, grinned the devious VC. “You just make sure you are in the GAA pavilion at 8pm tomorrow night” and with that, as quick as he had materialised, the VC was gone!

The heaving crowd was bathed in sweat and near exhaustion, but every single person in the pavilion had a look of complete exhilaration on their face. It had been the greatest night of their lives. Everyone was in no doubt that the King of Rock & Roll was still the King of Rock & Roll. Nobody wanted to move, they wanted to stay here forever and live in this moment.

But suddenly the feeling of joy was harshly interrupted by the crackling from the 1970’s speaker system in the Edenderry hall. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ELVIS HAS LEFT THE PAVILLION” the familiar suave voice proclaimed to screams of agony and disappointment from the audience.

David Farrell turned off the PA system with a quick flick of a switch and laughed out loud. “It’s all coming together” he giggled. At that moment he glanced at the table in the centre of the box office he had created for the night of the Kings comeback. It was overflowing with €50 and €100 notes, so much so that some spilled onto the floor. David moved over to the table and with one swish of his powerful arm he brushed all the money onto the floor making a huge Croghan hill-like peak, he dived headlong into the cash and lay there in complete bliss. He had done it, he had got the money he needed.

He sat up and took a puff from his Cuban cigar & adjusted his over-sized cowboy hat that he had begun wearing that morning. He curled the left side of his top lip up towards his nostril and muttered in his best Mississippi accent “thank you, thank you very much”. Suddenly the door swung open, it was Colm Cummins, the clean cut Secretary of the Edenderry GAA. “Jaysus, Dave! are you alright there?” enquired the sometimes Central GAA Council Committee member. “Oh yeah, I’m grand thanks, just slipped there while counting the money, this auld hat is hard to handle you know, kind of lost me balance”.

(The clean cut tee-total club Secretary Colm Cummins (left) pictured in 2010 with then GAA President Christy Cooney)

There was a moment of silence and a slight quizzical look in the eyes of the all-knowing Secretary. “Well, poor Ago is outside and he needs a lift now before these fans rip him to shreds, can you do it? panted Colm. “Just leave everything to me my boy” smiled the strangely dressed Vice Chairman in his new found over the top Mississippi accent. “Have you been drinking?” the tee-total Secretary enquired further. VC David Farrell composed himself, “Eh Oh sorry, sorry, no god no” he apologised. “Don’t you worry Colm, I’ll make sure Ago gets to where he needs to go” he sniggered.

TO BE CONTINUED................

The panel for Kiev will be announced on Thursday, what players will make it?

Why are so many former players keen to go to Kiev?

Can Sean Doyle really score 2-10 against St Aidanchenko's like Nikita suggested?

With 'Ago & Willie now out of the picture, what is the Vice Chairman really up to?

Clean cut tee-total club secretary........ Hmmmmm?

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR EPISODE 4

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