'One week in May' - Episode 2

Post date: May 22, 2018 12:51:33 PM

(Who is 'Ago Cullen?).........

Episode 2 - The Schemer

Chairman Willie Forde composed himself for a moment and slowly centred himself in the electrically heated seats of his newly acquired top of the range KIA Optima. The time was now. “Look, Ago” Willie began, “We all know that Ago is only a cover for your real name, sure everyone in the town knows who you really are, and in fairness, people have been more than happy to keep your true identity a secret, but you’re gonna have to come out of hiding, we need you to have another comeback special like in 1968 here in the pavilion this week, sure you’d draw the crowds in from Clonbollogue and everywhere!” pleaded Willie.

(The state of the art GAA pavilion - Elvis played to a sold out house in 1972)

Ago quickly straightened up but immediately banged his head off the inside of the KIA Optima, it was only plastic but it hurt. “For f**ks sake!!” groaned Ago, “Jaysus! I’m after bursting me head out of it!”. He was now extremely agitated and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Willie knew things had taken a nasty turn. He wasn’t counting on his newly acquired car letting him down in this way. “Jaysus Elvis, I mean Ago, are you alright?, I’m really sorry if this has been a bit too much for you to take in, but we need you now Elvis, more than ever Edenderry GAA needs you!” he pleaded.

Pat ‘Ago’ Cullen jumped backwards out of the window of the plush KIA Optima, his head was throbbing and he felt a surge of anger running through his body. Only five minutes earlier he had been strolling peacefully in the yard alongside his beloved GAA pitch, basking in its glory, and now he was jumping around that same yard in agony. “Willie always brings trouble” he reminded himself. He knew it the minute he had seen his car arriving. Just at that moment the Chairman himself appeared alongside Ago attempting to comfort and calm the agitated grounds man. “Elvis are you okay?” he enquired. “No I’m fecking not okay” shouted Ago, “and stop calling me Elvis ya gobsh**e, it sounds like you are the one who got the bang on the head” Ago angrily retorted. “Sorry Elvis, I mean Pat, I mean Ago, or whatever your name is at this stage” Willie answered, but, it was too late, the recently injured grounds man had already begun making his way across the expansive yard of the GAA grounds pausing only to turn and shout incoherently back at the forlorn GAA Chairman. In no time he had mounted his Massey 135 tractor and was making for the training area at the top of the main field at break neck speed.

(Elvis 'Ago Presley has the grounds manicured to the highest standard)

Willie sat back into his KIA Optima, he shuffled around in his seat wondering what his next move should be. He turned on his Bluetooth and searched for the name of David Farrell in his contacts list. The phone rang and almost instantly the unmistakable voice of his Vice Chairman could be heard at the other end. “Well?, how did it go? Will he do it?” the Vice Chairman impatiently enquired. “he will in his b*ll*x” Willie responded, matching his Vice Chairman’s impatient tone. “Ah Willie!! Did you make him thick again?” enquired David. “I think so” Willie answered in a resigned tone. “He’s gone storming off in the Massey 135, I’ll never catch him in this hape of sh**e I’m driving” he continued, “I may leave it until later today and try him again”. “NO!” David firmly interjected, “No, leave it for the moment, just tell me everything that was said and I’ll chat him later, me and him get on well”.

(The unscrupulous vice chairman David Farrell (left) would say mass if he was let)

Willie recounted the full conversation to his underling and on completing the call pointed his KIA Optima for his newly opened SPAR Superstore in Kinnegad. “Now to make loads of money off that Westmeath crowd” he grinned contentedly. He had tried but failed to convince the King to make a stunning comeback.

(Chairman Willie Forde became a millionaire overnight after he opened the Kinnegad branch of his huge Spar portfolio)

Elvis Presley slowed the Massey 135 to a crawl and glanced towards the main gate just in time to see the Chairman’s car exit the grounds of the Edenderry GAA’s modern complex. He pressed the break on his majestic mowing machine and sat slowly back in his custom made tractor seat. A hint of a smile began to appear on his unmistakable face. He cleared his throat……………………., “I’m All Shook Up” he crooned, “ahaw, ahaw, YEAH YEAH”!

(Elivs was arrested by Sergeant John Reilly when he first moved to Edenderry in 1977)

TO BE CONTINUED

If Willie can't, who can convince 'Ago Presley to come out of retirement?

Is the Vice Chairman as devious as people really think? You bet ya!

What players are in line to go to Kiev?

Will Stephanie Kelly ever meet her true prince?

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR EPISODE 3

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