Edenderry GAA to participate in Celebrity Big Brother fundraiser

Post date: Aug 14, 2018 11:12:0 AM

By Niveked...........

Edenderry GAA club members are set to feature in their very own version of 'Celebrity Big Brother' starting this Thursday. The club has managed to acquire a house on the Carrick road and the club members will enter the house this Thursday in a bid to see who can survive the longest.

Some prominent club members are set to enter the humble abode including Ciaran 'Gazza' Farrell and his mammy Mag, while senior footballer and part time model Jordan 'Jordo' Hayes is expected to room with master chef Jamie Dolan.

(Gazza will be rooming with his mammy while Jordan Hayes is expected to add a touch of glamour to the house)

Former local law enforcer Cornelius O'Leary, who worked in Edenderry Garda station under the ridiculous alias of Niall O'Leary until his retirement in May 2014, is expected to bring some discipline to the house mates and he will need to be at his strictest as he bids to put manners on recent National Lottery winner Mark Young and Edenderry corner back Eoin Dunne.

(Mark Young is expected to drive everyone mad while Eoin Dunne is expected to really miss his mate Shane Cummins)

Former 'The Sunday Game' analysts Peadar Nail and Tony 'TK' Kenny will be the oldest members of the household and are expected to provide controversial conversations regarding who the greatest Edenderry player of all time was. Peadar will be arguing the case for David 'Rodge' Hanlon while 'TK' is expected to argue that he was in fact the greatest of all time.

It is believed Seán Pender and Cian Farrell were approached and asked to participate in the latest fundraiser but both men replied "Sorry mate, not around that week, have county training". Senior football captain Colm Byrne refused to enter the house when he discovered there was no cash prize.

(Cian Farrell & Sean Pender can't make it, they're with the county)

Two time Dowling Cup winners Brian Quinlan & Derek Kelly will also take refuge in the house alongside 2015 Offaly senior footballer of the year Sean Doyle. Negotiations with Mr Doyle were said to be tense and it's believed he only agreed to enter the house if his lovely girlfriend Nikita could come too.

"I just hate to be separated from my bae" Mr Doyle cried to our reporter.

(Sean Doyle wouldn't enter without his bae)

The mastermind behind the latest fundraiser is club chairman Willie Forde and we asked Mr Forde if he was looking forward to the competition.

"It's a great idea right. We're the first club in the country to do this, right. It's gonna be great crack and we'll be posting updates everyday on all the housemates and all their carry on, right" Mr Forde stated.

"There will be some special guest appearances every now and again right and you'd never know who might appear. There's talk of Stewy Cullen coming home from Boston to participate but you'll just have to tune in to find out, right" Mr Forde concluded.

Club Secretary Colm Cummins will act as 'Big Brother' and entrants who step out of line will be called to the Diary Room to answer to the man who led the bloodless coup of 2006.

"I will run a strict house. There'll be no tomfoolery on my watch" Mr Cummins said.in a stern manner. "The most important thing is that each contestant pays his entrance fee prior to entering the house. I will only accept Bank Draft, Bank Transfer or cash. Especially cash. No pay no play, no hat no swim" stated the Club Secretary.

(Colm will act as Commander in Chief of the BB house)

This Thursday there will be an update on the housemates activities and the full cast will be revealed. Cynical local bookmaker John 'Bully' Dolan is offering odds on some of the following surprise guests:

Grandfather of the senior football team Keith McGuinness: 4/7

The Posh & Becks of Edenderry Finbarr & Geraldine Cullen: 3/1

King Alo Kenny: 5/1

Local lothario Stephen J Guing: 8/1

Pat 'Ago' Cullen: 10/1

The Laurel & Hardy of Edenderry, Mark & Stephen Abbott: 11/1

One of Jordan Hayes many girlfriends: 16/1

Podge & Rodge Hanlon & their Christmas Turkey: 33/1

Australian Rules footballer & former red Sean Marshall: 60/1