Edenderry GAA Big Brother: Day Two

Post date: Aug 18, 2018 8:45:51 AM

(There's trouble brewing in the 'Big Brother' House)

By Niveked..........

It's Day Two in the Edenderry GAA 'Big Brother' House and there were some lively moments as 'Big Brother Colm' threw some curve balls and numerous people were evicted, some by vote, some for disciplinary reasons. Let's take a quick recap on the days events.

8am: 'Big Brother Colm' wakes all the housemates and demands Mark Young come to the Diary Room immediately after his late night shenanigans. Mark Young has never seen 8am on his clock before so he ignores 'Big Brother Colm'.

8.05am: Cornelius O'Leary kicks in Mark's bedroom door, throws the empty curry chips tray off his bed and onto the ground. He drags Mark out of bed. Eoin Dunne starts crying with fear of the big bad retired Detective Garda.

8.06am: Retired Detective Garda Cornelius O'Leary places Mark in handcuffs and marches him to the Diary Room.

8.10am: 'Big Brother Colm' strongly condemns Mark's actions last night when he charged a late night Chinese delivery to the GAA. 'Big Brother Colm' explains to Mark that the club is practically broke and can't afford to feed him.

8.15am: Sean Doyle finally emerges from his bedroom after 24hrs but still no sign of Nikita. He finds Cornelius's handcuffs and brings them back to his bedroom. "These could come in handy" he's heard mumbling.

9am: Derek Kelly enters the diary room. He wishes to quit 'Big Brother'. His request his granted.

9.05am: Derek Kelly enters the diary room. He has changed his mind and decides to stay in the house.

9.30am: 'Gazza' is heard crying in the bedroom. Mag gets his wind up and puts him back to sleep. Jamie Dolan and Mark Young ask Mag to cook them breakfast again. Mag obliges.

10.15am: Jordan rises from bed. He puts on his Offaly gear and Gucci belt and goes for a run in the garden. Afterwards, he showers, puts back on his Offaly gear and Gucci belt and admires his biceps in the mirror. Jordan plays for Offaly.

11am: Brian Quinlan is chief suspect once again after another bad odour emerges from the loos. Cornelius is irate with the two time Dowling Cup winner. "He's a stinking h**r" Cornelius is heard saying as he scrubs the toilet bowl.

(Cornelius has the daggers out for Quinlan)

Midday: 'Big Brother Colm' calls all contestants to 'The Den'. He makes a big announcement that there will be two contestants thrown out at 7pm. However, the bigger news is that two new contestants will enter at 8pm.

12.35pm: Willie Kelly enters the Diary Room. He asks 'Big Brother Colm' for special dispensation to leave the house as he has two tickets for him and Stephanie to go see John Hogan in 'The Blackthorn' in Daingean. 'Big Brother Colm' refuses point blank. Willie curses profusely and tells 'Big Brother Colm' he's nothing but a Kildare EXPLICIT EXPLICIT EXPLICIT.

1pm: Derek Kelly enters the Diary Room. He asks to leave the 'Big Brother' house. His request his granted.

1.05pm: Derek Kelly enters the Diary Room. He says he's changed his mind and will stay.

1.50pm: Eoin Dunne is seen crying in the jacuzzi. He really misses Shane Cummins.

2pm: Delivery driver Diarmaid Meleady arrives at the front door. Mark Young & Jamie Dolan have ordered another takeaway from 'Golden Fries'. Jamie is forced to pay as Mark runs away. Everybody knows Jamie can afford it though, he has a BMW. Has he forgot to mention that?

3pm: Peadar Nail & 'TK' have continued their conversation over who was the best Edenderry footballer ever. Peadar is still adamant it was Rodge Hanlon and says Tony hasn't a clue. 'TK' is still adamant it was him. "Nobody could do what I could do" 'TK' insists to Mr Nail.

(Was Rodge the best? Peadar thinks so)

4.10pm: 'Gazza' is awake and asks if anyone wants to have a kick around in the back yard. Jordan Hayes says he will because he feels a responsibility to help his club mates improve as players. Jordan plays for Offaly.

5pm: Cornelius finally has all the bathrooms cleaned and removes his apron for the evening. He drinks 8 cans of Guinness before his dinner. Willie Kelly looks on in envy. Excitement is growing amid speculation over who will be leaving the cast at 7pm and who exactly will be joining at 8pm.

6.30pm: The countdown is on and each cast member has voted who they want to throw out. There is a growing feeling among the cast that 'Gazza's' mammy Mag is 100% safe as she is the only person capable of cooking. Sean Doyle and Nikita are expected to join their room-mates in 'The Den' at 7pm.

7pm: 'Big Brother Colm' announces that the following two people have been voted out of the house. "Derek Kelly and Brian Quinlan can you please leave the 'Big Brother' house immediately". Derek doesn't even pack his gear bag. He leaves screaming with glee "I'm Free I'm Free I'm off to Walsh Island' as Cornelius O'Leary celebrates Brian's elimination. "No more scrubbing toilets after that lug" Cornelius says. Brian squares up to the former Garda detective and warns him he can't hide behind his uniform anymore. "I'll see you on the outside" Brian warns Cornelius.

7.25pm: The remaining twelve contestants contemplate who could be about to enter the house. Eoin Dunne is praying it's Shane Cummins. Peadar is hoping its Rodge. Jordan Hayes is hopeful that it could be one of his girlfriends while 'Gazza' hopes it's his Aunty Geraldine Cullen so she can spoil him and tell him he's lovely. Mark Young & Jamie Dolan ring in another take away order.

8pm: 'Big Brother Colm' announces the time has come to welcome two new entrants to the house. The door opens, the smoke clears and here comes Andrew Forde and Niamh Lawless, Edenderry's answer to Prince William & Kate Midleton.

8.01pm: Huge panic breaks out as Andrew pulls his hamstring stepping over the front door threshold. He is injured once again, a common sight for his teammates. He can't enter the house in such condition and will have to avail of the free physio here at the club. "Don't worry, I have her number on speed dial" he laughs as he contemplates running up another ridiculously large bill.

8.02pm: Niamh says "Feck ya, I'm going in anyway".

8.45pm: With just fifteen minutes to lights out 'Big Brother Colm' announces to the house mates that he has another surprise. He promised two new contestants and he's a man of his word (Everyone sniggers in disbelief). The front door opens, the smoke clears and in steps King Alo Kenny. Gazza is so excited he doesn't think he'll sleep tonight. He idolises King Alo and would only love to be as cool and talented as him but knows full well he never will be. At this rate, he'd settle for being as cool as Jake.

(Here comes the King)

9pm: Lights out. The club can't afford 24hr electricity.

9.50pm: EMERGENCY EMERGENCY. 'Big Brother Colm' demands everybody to 'The Den' immediately. 'Big Brother Colm' is in fowl humour and highlights to the contestants that the very first thing he said when they arrived in the house was that everyone must be on their best behaviour and obey the rules. "Has anyone not being on their best behaviour"? 'Big Brother Colm' asks.

9.51pm: Sean Doyle smiles cheekily, "I've been a bit naughty". 'Big Brother Colm' tells him to shut up bragging.

9.52pm: 'Big Brother Colm' announces that Peadar Nail & Tony 'TK' Kenny are being evicted from the house for a serious breach of house rules. It appears the two lads snuck out of the house earlier to watch Senior football training. 'Big Brother Colm' spotted them in the swimming pool car park watching through the fence. The two men leave the house arguing over who was the best footballer of all time, Rodge or TK himself.

12.30am: King Alo Kenny is blaring Kanye West from his Ghettoblaster. 'Gazza's' mammy Mag is seen chasing the former North Carolina collegiate athlete around the garden in her dressing gown screaming "Gazza needs his sleep".

1.23am: A delivery arrives from 'Pings' for Mark Young & Jamie Dolan. The boys are famished.

That's it for Day Two of Edenderry GAA's Big Brother. Make sure to tune in for coverage of Day 3 and Day 4. There is now just 12 contestants but at least two more will be leaving tomorrow. Some special guests from abroad will be dropping by and is there potentially an engagement on the cards? What other surprises are in store from 'Big Brother Colm'.

Remaining contestants:

Mark Young & Eoin Dunne

Cornelius O'Leary & Willie Kelly

Sean Doyle & Nikita Poland

Niamh Lawless & King Alo Kenny

Ciaran 'Gazza' Farrell & his mammy Mag

Jordan Hayes & Jamie Dolan