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Meghan Markle to wear red wedding dress in fitting tribute to Edenderry GAA

posted 14 May 2018, 06:39 by Edenderry GAA   [ updated 27 Aug 2020, 14:37 ]

BREAKING NEWS::

By Niveked........

In a touching tribute to her favourite GAA club, The Queen has ordered bride Meghan Markle to wear a red wedding dress this Saturday as she marries Prince Harry.

The retired actress is set to wed the 6th in line for the British throne this Saturday May 19th and as we reported last month the Queen is a huge Edenderry GAA fan having attended the 1957 county final between the reds and Clara.

Despite signing the marriage certificate over the weekend which allows the wedding to proceed it has been speculated for months that the Queen is far from pleased that her grandson will marry a divorcee as it has brought back some painful memories for the British public.

"King Edward VIII caused an unwelcome amount of bad publicity when he was forced to abdicate his throne in 1936 after proposing to American divorcee Wallis Simpson" a spokesperson at Buckingham Palace confirmed to our reporter. "Lizzie was very keen to avoid such embarrassment and as a compromise for allowing the wedding to proceed with her blessing she has insisted that Meghan wear a red wedding dress to honour her heroes at Edenderry GAA.

The invitations have been dispatched and a number of people from the club have been invited to the big day. Club Chairman Willie Forde and his wife Deirdre are just one of the many power couples that are expected to make the trip to Windsor Castle along with senior ladies manager Greg Farrelly and his wife Tina. Former senior footballers Brian Quinlan and Basil Malone are also due to attend with their better halves Rebecca and Aine respectively. 

Mr Forde will be presenting a wonderful gift to the happy couple on behalf of Edenderry GAA with the newly weds set to become members of 'Club Red 300' for 2018".

"This is the best gift we could give anyone right" Mr Forde explained. "It's going to give them a chance to win €1000 a month right and they'll be entered into the weekly lotto as well right. Myself and Queen Lizzie need to sit down and discuss a few other things though. She was very keen to arrange sponsorship for the seniors this year but with Brexit on the horizon we felt 'Rationel Windows and Doors' was the more secure option right" Mr Forde concluded.

Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to attend as U15 football manager Willie Kelly declined the invitation as he is set to attend a challenge match in Walsh Island on Saturday afternoon once he has collected his double time pay from Bord Na Mona that morning. His long suffering wife Stephanie is said to be devastated but didn't really expect anything different after thirty years.

Image result for bord na móna
(Willie Kelly has been milking the 'Bord for years now)

Club secretary Colm Cummins has also declined to attend as the guests were asked to use the side entrance of the church at Windsor Castle but Mr Cummins insisted 'I'm a free man, I'll go in the front door if I want to".

Head groundsman Pat 'Ago' Cullen is unable to attend as he said he needs to 'mow the jasus pitch sure the grass is lepping out of it".

Former Offaly and Edenderry captain Finbarr Cullen and his lovely wife Geraldine are expected to add a touch of glamour to the occasion with Harry and Finbarr actually very close friends.

"Harry loves to spend his summers in Edenderry and it was in Club 38 that he first met 'Barrs. Finbarr held one of his world famous costume party some years ago, around 2005 I think it was, and Harry attended in his now infamous Nazi costume. Jasus that went down a treat with Lizzie! She went ape s**t with him. Everyone knows she's a descendant from that crowd but the last thing she wanted was it brought up in public" our source in Buck Palace told us.

It has also emerged that the current senior football team will form a Guard of Honour at the extravagant wedding celebration and most of the players are super excited.

2017 player of the year Richie Dalton said "I can't wait to see all the fashion, especially the bridal gown it's going to be epic" the big midfielder told us while current senior football captain Colm Byrne requested clarification as to whether the trip would be all expenses paid. "Is this going to cost me anything" Mr Byrne replied to the invitation.
Corner forward Alex Kenny is thrilled he was invited but has vowed to drink water for the weekend as the last time he met up with Harry things got fairly messy. 

"Harry's a h**r for the beer" Alex told our news desk.

(Richie Dalton & Alex Kenny pictured in Edenderry GAA during their modelling days)

The happy couple are expected to leave for their honeymoon on Tuesday May 22nd where they will visit Cancun for two weeks, New York for one week and three days in Edenderry where they hope to take in a senior league match some night before hitting the shopping centre in the Downshire.

"Meghan loves going to McGreals" our source in Buckingham Palace confirmed.

Cynical local bookmaker John 'Bully' Dolan of Eclipse Betting has reportedly given odds of just 7/4 that the marriage will end in divorce.

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