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Edenderry footballing brothers to run in Council elections - Tipped to be the new Healy-Rae's

posted 11 Feb 2019, 04:40 by Edenderry GAA
Image result for podge and rodge

By Niveked........

Edenderry based brothers Podge and Rodge Hanlon have sensationally announced their intention to run in the upcoming council election on May 24th.

The controversial pair announced their decision through their publicist and general dogsbody Jamie Dolan on Monday morning in a move that is set to rock the county and change the political landscape in the Laois/Offaly district. Mr Dolan confirmed that both Podge and Rodge plan to enter the political arena and that they have grown tired of Edenderry being ignored by the powers that be.

"Podge & Rodge are furious over the lack of a Greyhound track in Offaly but especially in Edenderry. They've been campaigning for years now to get a Greyhound track built at the old Plaza hotel site but so far their calls have gone unanswered" Mr Dolan confirmed to local radio station Edenderry 1891FM.

Edenderry 1891FM political correspondent Ciaran 'Gazza' Farrell said the decision for the Hanlon brothers to move into politics has sent shock waves around the county and that is it very possible they could become as powerful and influential as the Healy-Rae brothers from Kerry.

"These guys have huge plans for North Offaly and they're very popular throughout the county. It's very possible they could have the same type of influence as the Healy-Rae's in Kilgarvan. Apart from the proposed Greyhound track they plan to build, Podge in particular has stressed that it is vital that the price of alcohol be reduced dramatically" Mr Farrell stated. However, local publican Damian O'Donoghue has dismissed Podge's suggestion emphatically telling our reporter "COME OUT" when asked if he planned to sell Heineken for €3.50.

(Podge Hanlon feels €3.50 is more than enough for a pint of Heineken)

Both brothers will run as Independent candidates despite approaches from powerful political parties but when quizzed by our reporter this morning the brothers confirmed their Independent status.

"Oh jasus no we're not running with any party" Rodge confirmed. "We actually want to get things done and not just promise stuff for North Offaly" he continued. Older brother Podge stated that "the Greyhound track is just the beginning" and that they have "big plans for Edenderry in general".

"We'll be building a ring road anyway so it'll be quicker for me to get to O'Donoghue's pub. The Greyhound track, a race track, a casino and we hope to encourage companies like Dell and Intel to set up at the Old Quinnsworth site. It's cat looking at the moment" Podge Hanlon fumed.

Boston based billionaire and former team mate Stuart Cullen is believed to be the financier behind the Hanlon brothers bid for election after striking it rich in the construction industry in the state of Massachusetts.

(Rodge Hanlon has been likened to Danny Healy-Rae)

Ger Hanlon, the eldest of the Hanlon siblings, declined to comment on the latest developments as he continues to distance himself from his brothers following the 'Turkey-Gate' scandal of 2013.
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