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Bandwagon found abandoned in Ballsbridge Saturday evening

posted 4 Feb 2019, 04:48 by Edenderry GAA
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By Niveked.............

Dublin City council workers confirmed that during Sunday morning's clean up of the city they came across a rather large bandwagon which had been abandoned outside the Aviva Stadium in Ballsbridge.

The bandwagon, which had a OY registration plate, is believed to have been left behind by furious Ireland supporters who travelled to the game from 'down the country' on Saturday evening. Ireland suffered a shock defeat to old rivals England in the opening round of the Six Nations and City council workers suspect that the culchie supporters abandoned the bandwagon in a fit of temper.

"Yes we believe it may have been left behind by some country peasants, I mean country folks. We've had a big influx in country peasants, I mean country folk, attending games ever since we became the World Champions last November when we beat the All-Blacks in a friendly" one council worker told our news reporter.

Despite becoming the self proclaimed World Champions after the friendly match victory over New Zealand in November, Ireland were brought back down to earth with a crushing defeat to old rivals England and Irish rugby officials were last night scrambling in an effort to repair the damage. One insider told our reporter that officials are very concerned that the demand for black market tickets may decrease and some supporters may only have to pay €350 for a ticket, instead of the usual €800..

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(The bandwagon was found outside the impressive Aviva Stadium)

Local barman Mark Abbott expressed concern over the recent abandonment of the wagon and said it could have serious consequences for the economy as sales of 'Heino, Coors Light and Rockshore' are set to plummet.

"It is very concerning. We had ordered an extra 100 kegs of Heino ahead of the Six Nations but this defeat has really set the cat among the pigeons. We're due to have a staff meeting today to discuss how else we could get rid of this amount of stock" the barman revealed. Abbott, an Offaly footballer, said there has been ructions in Byrnes Bar over what staff get to work during the Ireland games.

"Yes that's true. We all love working during the Ireland matches especially when there's a conversion to be taken. The way everyone goes silent and shush people as to not put Johnny Sexton off his kick, it's something special. It's even more amazing that Johnny can hear it all the way from Edenderry. And of course we really love the expert analysis that follows the game.

(The anguish on Mark's face when he hears someone ordering a pint of 'Heino')

However, local rugby fanatic David J. Reynolds, who added the J to his name last November when Ireland became the World Champions having beaten New Zealand in a friendly, feels that Ireland are merely lulling the opposition into a false sense of security ahead of this years World Cup.

"Oh yea totes for sure loike you know. Loike, they'll think we're no good now but that's when we'll hit them with some box to box plays, pen them in, kick the ball out of play into the stand and put them under pressure" the wealthy electrician stated.

Former Edenderry footballer and Ireland rugby youth international 'Champagne' Robbie Glennon has also expressed his disappointment at the current situation.

"I am dismayed to be honest, if people are not prepared to stay on the rugby bandwagon for at least another week, well then what future is there for the drinks industry in Ireland" the former out half stated.

(Champagne Robbie Glennon was a dual star in his day)

Reports coming to us today suggest that it is not just in Edenderry that bangwagon's are being found abandoned. All over Ireland people are said to be jumping ship at an alarming rate.

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(Genuine rugby supporters, pictured above, are desperate to keep 'Heino' sales soaring.
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